Recently in my life I’ve been experiencing more wins, more moments where I feel like I’ve succeeded rather than failed. It’s taken a concerted effort on my part to be able to pick up on those little moments, to see that the work I’ve been doing is paying off. Our society, our culture, our own insecurities and confidence has conditioned us to constantly pay attention to the bad. To pick up on what you did…
This is part three of my ongoing antidepressant series. I again want to get my story out there, to make even one person feel less alone. While medications can help people, there are many who may benefit from them. However, I seemingly had the opposite experience. I know I’m not the only one. After my dad died in February of 2024, I didn’t know what to do with myself. For the previous 5 months my…
The battle to be consumed As I’ve slowly come out of the fog of fear and anxiety that I’ve found myself in over the last few years, I find myself with the almost indescribable urge to create. Not just create, but the overwhelming feelings of wanting to be consumed by what I’m creating. I go to sleep at night thinking of what I want to write, lines coming to me and stories whispered in my…
No one is a stranger to heartbreak. It eventually catches up to everyone, one way or another. A brutal break up with the guy you thought was ‘the one’, the separating of a friendship, the death of a beloved family pet. It comes in every shape and size, a gentle tug on your heart to a complete crushing and tearing blow. I’ve been grappling with trying to make sense of it all. Can there be…
I’ve told bits and pieces of my story, snapshots of moments in time and emotions. To be honest, I don’t think my story is particularly riveting if I tell it from start to finish. I think anyone reading it would find parts of themself in it, parts that resonate with them. Lately, I’ve been grappling with the need to tell more of it. To let everyone know the reasons behind my writing, the experiences that…
As I sit here with a new planner, I can’t help but think of how many times I have found myself in this position. Thinking that this time was going to be the time that I actually make a change, that this time my habits are going to stick and I am going to achieve my goals. That this won’t be another planner, another notebook, another app that I use for a week then collects…
Why is it so difficult to break bad habits? Why have I stayed addicted to smoking cigarettes for 10 years now knowing they have wreaked havoc on my health and wellbeing? It’s a question I have found myself repeatedly asking for a while now. I have been struggling to break free from my addiction to nicotine. Externally, I have watched three close family members die from the damages that smoking causes. I held my dads…
Maybe I’m the problem. In fact I know I am. I have stood in my own way for years now, telling myself I’m trying to get better, be better, live the life I want. The truth is, I have stayed comfortably in my comfort zone. I haven’t really pushed myself in years. For the past year or so I’ve thought that it’s been for my own good, my own protection. That if I just give…
You’d think that each time you go to a funeral, that it would be a little easier than the last time you went. You know what to expect, you know the faces you’ll see and the words that will be said. You’ve seen the poster boards or slide shows full of pictures of 60 years ago, 20 years ago, last year. You might even be in a few. Then you start to notice that the…
This is part two of my ongoing antidepressant series. I again want to get my story out there, to make even one person feel less alone. While medications can help people, there are many who benefit from them. However, I seemingly had the opposite experience. I know I’m not the only one. After my decision to come off of Lexapro in January of 2022, I was optimistic about what the experience would be like. I…